Healing from Abuse
This page was last updated: February 23, 2009
Child of God, Christian Book Author
Connie Van Berkel
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Through the Mind of a Child
Anonymous
My Daddy drinks.
He takes all of the money.
My Daddy and Mommy argue.
Daddy hits my Mommy.
I don’t think she deserves that.
Daddy is drunk again.
Mommy is lying on the floor.
I call the police.
They come and talk to my Daddy.
He was wrong to hit my Mommy; he deserves it.
The policemen leave.
My Daddy is angry; he doesn’t like policemen.
My Daddy spanks me over and over again.
My Mommy just sits and watches.
I must have been wrong.
I must have done something to deserve it.
I feel so alone and ashamed.
It hurts to sit down.
No one says they are sorry.
No one seems to care.
I am bad; I must have deserved it.
Time passes by…
Other people abuse me.
I don’t even try to defend myself.
Who will even listen?
I am bad; I must have deserved it.
Time passes by…
I have a husband of my own.
He drinks and turns into a different person.
I am afraid of him so I don’t argue.
I suffer my abuse in private.
I just know I’ve done something to deserve it.
Time passes by…
I learn early not to hit my children.
I have angry feelings inside.
My baby daughter does something to annoy me.
I slap her hard across the face.
My friend says “Why did you do that?”
She is right; my baby did nothing to serve that.
Time passes by…
My daughter falls in love.
He has children and they have one together.
Her husband takes drugs.
He takes all the money; he takes all the food.
My daughter confronts him; they argue.
He yells at her until she feels like nothing.
She is protecting her children; she did nothing to deserve it.
Time passes by…
My daughter comes to me.
She wants out of her relationship.
Her husband is becoming more abusive.
I take her to counseling; I take her to WEAVE.
One stormy night, he raves at her like a madman.
The children are afraid, I take them all home with me.
We all go through a lot of pain before it is over.
It was all worth it; they did nothing to serve all of that.
Time passes by…
I am “attacked” by a crazy co-worker.
She is angry at me; I’ve been ignoring her.
I don’t like what she is saying about other people.
I lack skills to defend myself, she “attacks” me again.
My mind, frozen through time says to me.
You must have done something to deserve that.
I don’t understand.
Why has this made me feel so bad?
After all, I’ve been mistreated before.
I am so depressed, I don’t want to live anymore.
No one seems to care; no one understands.
Why did I deserve to be treated like that.
I seek help…
I search until I find a counselor.
She is understanding and kind.
She takes me back; she helps me understand.
I understand the child that was me did nothing wrong.
I understand that she did not deserve all of that.
I am finally free of all of that.
